Beyond words

16 Jun

Let me start by saying that there are few times in my life where I really feel like I don’t know the words to use to describe something. At worst, I can usually string together a passable description of what I think or feel, or what I’ve seen or done. At best, I can write something that feels perfect even to me, my own harshest critic. At this moment I’d love to do nothing more than find the most flawless and exact words. And although I already know I’m going to fall short, it won’t stop my attempt.

I write because there are always words in my head. And I decided to write here, in particular, not only because I needed an outlet, but because I needed a record. I knew that I was at the start of quite a transformation in my life, and I needed to not just live it but write it, too. Every single word I write and letter I type is straight from my heart. I hide nothing, I share everything; it’s just how I am.

Along the way I have been blessed to find that my closest friends, my family and even strangers love to read what I write. Nearly 600 people from 25 countries have read my words. I’ve received so many kind comments on my posts, so many words of encouragement, of understanding, of support. It’s been incredible.

But nothing has even come close to being as incredible as Saturday night, when I learned that the things I’ve gone through, the path I’m taking, the words I’ve written have truly been an inspiration for someone else. And I learned this in possibly the most perfect way imaginable. Actually, I take that back. It was unimaginable, even for me, who imagines everything. Every detail of what happened was extremely touching. The gesture in and of itself made me realize how much I was understood, and how much my words and outlook had made an impact. I could never have imagined a moment like that. It was one of the most sincere and beautiful things anyone has ever done for me. Ever.

Although it was a public gesture, it was also a private gesture, and in a room full of people only a handful really knew what happened and how much it meant, which made it even more wonderful. And that’s why, in contrast to my usual style, I don’t want to go into detail here. Maybe some moments can’t be described, some things can’t be explained. And maybe, sometimes, even for me… they don’t need to be.

It’s beyond words. Thank you.

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